My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me

March 30, 2015
In this unforgettable memoir, Teege, writing with journalist Sellmair, discovers secrets about her family during WWII. Teege, a part-Nigerian German working in the advertising industry, shakes up her quiet married life after discovering a book, Matthias Kessler’s I Have to Love My Father, that inspires her to unravel her convoluted family history. She’s horrified to learn that her biological mother’s father was infamous SS leader Amon Goeth. As depicted in Schindler’s List, Goeth liquidated the Krakow ghetto in Poland, ran the Plaszow death camp, and was captured by Americans and hanged in 1946. Teege’s travels in Poland, Germany, and the Middle East further expose her family’s troubled legacy. Her biological mother, Monika, became pregnant with Teege after an affair with a Nigerian student, and placed the baby for adoption; Monika’s unapologetic mother, Ruth, makes excuses for Goeth, who was her lover. Teege’s quest to discover her personal history is empowering.

Starred review from March 15, 2015
In a public library one day, Teege, a German Nigerian woman, ran across a book that shook her to the very core and changed her life forever. The book was an account by a woman traumatized by the fact that her father was Amon Goeth, the Nazi commandant known as the Butcher of Plaszow. Scanning the book's photos, Teege slowly and with horrified reluctance recognized that the author was her mother, a woman she hadn't seen since childhood, when she was first placed in an orphanage and later adopted. Her grandmother, of whom she had fond memories, was the mistress of the Nazi mass murderer of Jews portrayed in Schindler's List. In the following months, Teege battled depression as she traced her family history, reconnected with her emotionally distant mother, and traveled to Poland to visit death camps. Hardest of all was gathering the courage to reconnect with Israeli friends she feared would now reject her, despite their long history. Suffering the twin traumas of being given up for adoption and discovering a monstrous heritage, Teege was in cultural and emotional turmoil until she made peace with her past. Interspersed with Teege's first-person recollections of personal trauma are journalist Sellmair's accounts of Goeth's history and the broader social trauma of the Holocaust. A stunning memoir of cultural damage and personal identity.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)

Starred review from May 15, 2015

What if you pulled a book with an intriguing title off the shelf in your local library and discovered that your grandfather was Amon Goethe, the Nazi commandant made infamous in Steven Spielberg's movie Schindler's List? When the author does, she questions everything about herself, her biological and adoptive families, and all of her other relationships. After she starts to get over her initial shock and depression, Teege, a German Nigerian woman whose mother, Goethe's daughter, put her up for adoption, begins a harrowing journey of self-discovery. She shares her nightmares, heartbreaks, and triumphs throughout an emotional quest. Award-winning journalist Sellmair's parallel narrative provides historical background on Nazi concentration camps and the Holocaust in addition to biographical information gained through interviews with Teege's friends and family. Includes 19 black-and-white photographs and a section for further resources. VERDICT Originally published in German as Amon: mein Grossvater hatte mich erschossen, Teege's account is an important addition to narratives written by descendants of war criminals. A gripping read, highly recommended for anyone interested in history, memoirs, and biography. [See Prepub "Midwinter Galley Preview," 1/12/15.]--Venessa Hughes, Buffalo, NY

Copyright 2015 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.