There Is No Dog

Starred review from November 7, 2011
Rosoff (Just in Case) looks at the world’s natural disasters, injustices, and chaos and presents a perfectly reasonable explanation: God is a horny teenage boy. According to this gleefully heretical account, God, aka “Bob,” was given Earth by his mother, who won the planet in a poker game. Bob showed flashes of brilliance during Creation, but he feels little responsibility for the planet. When he falls head-over-heels in lust with a beautiful zoo employee, Lucy, Bob’s passion and growing anger toward those who would keep them apart is manifested through wildly fluctuating weather and rampant flooding. Meddling, peevish, and self-absorbed, Rosoff’s pantheon recalls the squabbling deities of Greek and Norse mythology. She takes gleeful pleasure in reducing God to an inept, lovelorn child, her takedowns often delivered through the dry observations of Bob’s industrious assistant, Mr. B., who “marvels that the same God who leaves his dirty clothes in a moldering heap by the side of the bed could have created golden eagles and elephants and butterflies.” Traditionalists may bristle, but there’s no denying that Rosoff’s writing and sense of humor are a force of nature themselves. Ages 12–up.

Starred review from December 1, 2011
Bad luck for Earth that the job of the Almighty went to a horny, indolent teenager named Bob whose mother, Mona, won it in a poker game. In a few flashes of brilliance, Bob created the heavens and the earth, adding short-lived mortals in his own image, which seemed like a colossal mistake to his assistant, Mr. B. Humankind has been dealing with God's adolescent mood swings ever since. If Bob seduces one more girl, it'll be the end of Mr. B's rope—he's already considering turning in his resignation. A veteran of middle management, he's having his own identity crisis. While Bob fantasizes about "soapy sex" with Lucy, an assistant zookeeper praying for someone to fall in love with, the world drowns in Bob's bathwater. Meanwhile, Bob's pet, Eck, a penguin-like little creature with far more empathy than his owner possesses, is the latest victim of Mona's excesses. Beneath the light, snarky banter lie provocative ideas. As Bob himself wonders, "if life were without flaws and no one ever changed or died, what role would God have?" A piece of graffiti spurs Bob to get his planet under control, to surprising effect. Irreverent and funny, this book is sure to put off those concerned about blasphemous ideas showing up in teen literature, but it earns its place among the sharpest-witted tours de force of recent memory. (Fiction. 14 & up)

(COPYRIGHT (2011) KIRKUS REVIEWS/NIELSEN BUSINESS MEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.)

January 1, 2012

Gr 9 Up-Have you ever read the Bible or classical myths and thought that God's and/or Zeus's behavior seemed a bit arbitrary? Perhaps even vindictive and downright selfish? Here, the mercurial nature of the deity is creatively explained: God is, in fact, a teenage boy-moody, self-obsessed, and entrusted with overseeing a low-priority corner of the universe called Earth. God's name is Bob, and Earth's creatures are his rather slapdash inventions, made hastily in six days and then abandoned to a fate of chaos and self-destruction. Meteorological catastrophes correspond to Bob's mood swings and sexual frustrations. Wars and conflicts result from his failure to pay attention to human folly. Loosely supervised by an exasperated paternal figure known as Mr. B, Bob spends his time whining and pining after beautiful human females. The story's main thread follows his latest infatuation with a kindhearted, animal-loving beauty named Lucy. The omniscient narration moves quickly, with plenty of wacky tangential details to amuse even the quirkiest readers. Easy to read, thoroughly amusing, and thought-provoking, this title will appeal to teens who like their humor offbeat and irreverent. Give it to fans of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens (Workman, 1990) and Douglass Adams's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Harmony Books, 1980).-Emma Burkhart, Springside School, Philadelphia, PA

Copyright 2012 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from November 15, 2011
Grades 9-12 *Starred Review* Have you ever wondered why there are earthquakes and hurricanes? Why plans fail and lovers break up? How an omnipotent deity lets evil occur in the world? Would it help if I told you God is a teenage boy? That's the premise of Printz-winner Rosoff's new novel. Long story short, Mona, the mother of Bob (aka God), wins Earth in a poker game. What mother doesn't want to see her son get ahead? So Bob gets the job In the Beginning, but like so many teenage boys he often can't see past his nether regions. And besides, he's a bit thick and won't buckle down, so fortunately the overworked Mr. B. has been designated as Bob's companion/assistant. Think Arthur (Dudley Moore) and his butler (John Gielgud). Then Bob falls for Lucy, a beautiful zoo worker, and Mr. B. knows all hell is going to break loose. It happens every time Bob gets involved with a human. Wildly inventive and laugh-out-loud funny, the story is told from the points of view of various characters: long-suffering Mr. B., virginal Lucy, dingbat Mona, and, of course, petulant, powerful, pissant Bob. In many ways, the book's parts add up to more than its sum, but it is not often that a book comes along that is both arch and thoughtful, silly and smart. This one's not quite like anything else out there.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2011, American Library Association.)

Starred review from January 1, 2012
The premise here is startlingly original and as old as the ancient Greeks. Suppose that the gods are capricious and egotistical. Further, suppose that the god assigned to planet Earth is a lazy, self-centered, irresponsible, testosterone-infused teenage boy named Bob. Of course things don't go too well. War, disease, melting ice-caps, weird weather. Sound familiar? Things get even worse when Bob falls for a mortal, Lucy. Rosoff mixes satire, philosophical musings about the nature of God (including a nod to the God gene theory), and an over-the-top romance (He's like a god. No. Wait. He is a god) to create a darkly funny story reminiscent, in its combination of bitterness and jollity, of Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. An optimistic, comedic ending in which two couples find true love, a doomed house pet is saved, and Earth gets a new and more responsible god leaves the reader off-kilter, but off-kilter is where we've been all along in this cheeky and subversive fantasy fable. sarah ellis

(Copyright 2012 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

July 1, 2012
Suppose that the gods are capricious and egotistical. Further, suppose that the god assigned to planet Earth is a lazy, self-centered, irresponsible, testosterone-infused teenage boy named Bob. Things go from bad to worse when Bob falls for a mortal, Lucy. Rosoff mixes satire, philosophical musings, and an over-the-top romance to create a darkly funny, cheeky, and subversive fantasy fable.

(Copyright 2012 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)